A Tale of Cutthroat Mattress Salespeople

No, that’s not the name of a strange new recipe.  There’s no recipe today, instead I thought I would share with y’all my adventure in buying a new mattress set yesterday, and you might get a chuckle out of it (or at least sympathize with me). 

Y’all know the expression “when it rains, it pours”?  Well, that has been very true for Jay and I these past few days.  Among other things, we suddenly found ourselves in dire need of a new mattress set (no, there was nothing kinky involved, you dirty-minded people).  We’ve needed and talked about getting a new set for quite some time, we’d just procrastinated, and this was certainly the kick in the rear we needed to get going on it (and I am thankful that we had the money to be able to afford a nice new set).

What I quickly realized as we went from store to store is that buying a new mattress is not that different from buying a car.  I thought we’d just go in, pick out something we both liked and wasn’t too pricey, and that would be that.  I quickly realized that mattress salespeople must take you everywhere around the store, like herding sheep, describing all the wonderful features of the beds.  And you are apparently not allowed to wander off looking at the beds YOU are interested in. You must lay on every bed they point out, on your back, on your side, they’ll even get you just the kind of pillow you like (and who knows how many other people have used those pillows.  My OCD shudders at the thought).  They reminded me of predatory sharks just waiting to swarm as soon as you walk in the store.

And then if you are still not quite committed, maybe you want to talk it over with your husband/wife first, THEN the bargaining and negotiating starts.  At one point Jay started laughing, and he told me later that it was because he suddenly got the feeling he was in a car dealership, not a mattress store.  Apparently, even in a mattress store, you should never pay the sticker price. Who knew there was so much involved with buying a new mattress??

We also got a chuckle out of the fact that at one store, the sales lady commented to me about how even though I was just starting out, I still needed a nice mattress.  Just starting out? I’m fast approaching 30!  I realize I look much younger than I am, though, and I’ve reached the age where I’ll definitely consider that a compliment, thank you ma’am.  It wasn’t long ago that I also suffered a particularly embarassing incident while trying to buy some wine for a recipe, which afterwards left me feeling like a naughty teenager trying to score some booze (since Jay was driving I hadn’t brought my purse with me, and silly me assumed the cashier would think I looked older than 18, the legal age here in AB).

At the end of the day, besides a massive headache, we did find a nice mattress set which was the ultimate goal, of course.  In summation, the biggest thing I learned from my mattress buying experience, is that I don’t want to buy another one for a very VERY long time!



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4 responses to “A Tale of Cutthroat Mattress Salespeople

  1. Oh no…..Joe and I just recently redid our bedroom. New furniture, new carpet, new paint, new EVERYTHING except the mattress. We just haven’t gotten around to it yet. Thanks for warning me what to expect, lol.

  2. Poppa

    In my early years we rented apartments and slept on whatever was furnished in the house. Parsonages were furnished with hand me downs from generous church members. Bless their hearts! No choice. Annualy we took the mattress out to sun in the hot sunshine. Our first purchase was from a SEARS ROEBUCK Store and we bought the least expensive mattress and used it for many years. As time went by, there were beds to buy for the children, a new mattress for the adults, and the same type of sales pitch you experienced.

    You need to write a book. It would thrill the hearts of those who have had similar deals. We are fortunate enough to sleep on a new Sleep Number Bed, highly advertised, supposed to ease your back of all pain, and give you many hours of restful sleep. We do rest peacefully but wake up early when we imagine what we could have done with the money we spent. As a kid we used to sleep on a pallet on the floor when we visited our grand parents. It was fun then. Old bones need soft beds.

    • Poppa, I think when you get to be your age, you’re allowed to splurge a bit! Jay and I realized this will actually be the first new mattress either of us has ever had. I think I always pretty much got hand me downs, and Jay did too. So it’s exciting for us!

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